March 2013
4 posts
Eric Whitacre
With hair that’s almost too perfect, too highlighted, too uniform, too…. German, if you will, Eric Whitacre is the rock star of the choral composition world. He stomped his way to the top; pounding his foot down on notes spewing out of the basses, then the tenors, then the altos, then the sopranos, like some sort of musical cliff.
In actuality it was really not that hard to do. He...
February 2013
10 posts
Cream Corn.
Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream Horn. Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream Corn. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream Corn. Cream Horn. Cream corn. Cream. Cream. Cream Corn.
Let Christy take me.
I think I actually… do I? I think I… yeah? Yeah. Yeah I do. I do. I want to fuck him.
- said every girl ever the first time they saw Christoph Waltz.
More like Shia La BUFF, ami right? Hah. Amazing.
Thank you Shia I have waited for this day, waited for the day when I could say: Your hair looks great. You are a man. Shalom, aliyah, jewish, psalms.
A poem by me.
If Einstein lived in the 21st century he wouldn’t have waisted his incredible genius with his head in the physics books. He would have actually contributed to society by calculating ‘hair to goodness’ ratios for the...
October 2012
5 posts
James Frankly I'd Franco you. (..... James Franco)
His last name sounds like you’re concealing a secret with a fist-cough, and maybe that’s why I watched the first Spiderman film because I had crush on Tobey Maguire, not James. If you’re looking for me to throw something your way to assist in your cutting me any sort of slack, I’d only found out what real sex was a year before hand; and my private area had not yet acquired...
August 2012
4 posts
Wave that shit like you own that gif.
Jerry Trainor.
i- Want Him. Jerry Trainor might have passed you by if you have numerous hobbies or aren’t a misguided twenty-something who resorts to watching Nickelodeon on a Saturday morning. I don’t know who the kids are watching it for but I tune in to breeeeaaaathhh in the dermatobia hominis of i-Carly’s buff brother - AND he’s down with the kids, so you’ll clearly want to have...
April 2012
22 posts
Josh Peck
Sure, yeh. Sure, yeh he’s lost a crap load of weight, but that’s not the reason Josh Peck looky so goody. He knew what the rest of the men in the world need to. Grow out those tresses and show your ability to grow a beard (but you keep it trim ‘cause you’re cool like that) and the gals will flock like a bunch of seagulls in heat.
Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin did not become a lawyer. He still has a soul and it shines through every strand of his sexy, silky hair. That very soul helped him follow his heart to comedy. What do you get the man who can make you laugh, play more than one instrument and has great hair? A set of fucking handcuffs and a missing key. I can feel myself losing the strict atheist followers already, so here… here...
Robert Sheehan
Rub My She-bits. Robert Sheehan’s eyes are almost as beautiful as his delicious crowning glory. By the way, he was the nerdy kid on The Dens ‘Foreign Exchange’, a show made by Australia’s Southern Star, which featured Irish and Australian kids traveling to each others homes through a magical portal. Never fancied him then, BECAUSE HE HAD NO HAIR.
Paul Garred
‘Mmmmmm oh my god right there. YES YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!!! Awww yeh there THERE!! Aw fuck. Wow.’… Is what my sister and I used to say while spending the duration of the time watching Kooks videos searching for short appearances of Paul Garreds face (and hair).
With the Kooks went the image of untamed, boyish ringlets and dirty blonde mops, but in the back ground hid a dark, sexy...
Peter Vack
I Just Want To Get Into His Pants. And I don’t mean borrowing them and wearing them, I mean I want to get my lower body into his pants while he’s wearing them so that his penis is either next to or in my female version of that body part.
Guys I wasn’t sure where to go with this one, title-wise. How about ‘I just want my pants Vack.’ or ‘You can have your...
March 2012
76 posts
Andy Samberg
Glasses awwwwn or glasses off; Andy Samberg always looks good and we must give some of that credit to his hair. Thanks for being so great Andy. Cool beans.
